In order to attain something, perhaps you need to let it go?

*deep breath* ... *scratches head*

It's been a while since I've written one of these, and with me being so MIA - you can imagine how inspiration must be playing hide and go seek with me, right? Well... it has, and it's been doing a fairly good job at it! I haven't been able to find my inspiration for a while now, until yesterday when I came across an email that made me scratch my head. Literally, I sat there for a few minutes raising my eyebrows, and scratching my head while trying to find the words to reply to it.

*smirk* It was a nice email and I'd love to share it with you guys, but I'll skip to the part that had me thinking. *privacy naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai, janaab!*

The question which I wanted to pose to you (I'm sure you must have received this from many a reader) is one of overcoming heartbreak and letting go of a Mannat, so to speak. How do you do it? How does one know when to let go?

Now, some of you may ask "what exactly is a Mannat?" Great question! However, before I answer it - let me slightly rephrase the question and ask you, "what is a Du'a?" *thinky pose* 

Du'a is the Arabic word for the act of supplication, ie. praying for something. It is a conversation between you and your Lord, a secret between you and your Creator, it is the act of submission and acceptence of total dependence on Allah.  I've written a ton about Du'a in my book, Disciples of Ishq, *shameless advertising* so I will not ramble on and on about it here, as I've already made my point.

Now, back to our initial question! What is a Mannat?! A Mannat is like a Du'a, but it differs because one attaches a condition to it. Mannat is the Urdu word "Al-Nadhr," in Arabic. The English equivalent to it would be a "vow." *Okay... so what's a vow?* You're probably thinking of the few minutes of sappy exchanges between man and wife during a wedding at a Cathedral, right? "I vow, to forever keep you happy..." *smirks* Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but in this context, a vow is when one voluntarily binds him/herself in gratitude for some special favor prayed for. It is essentially, a promise to Allah. For example, when you pray for a new job and you promise Allah that if you're granted the new job, you will offer extra voluntary prayers, or you'll feed the needy, or you'll donate some money to the Mosque, etc.

Are vow's even allowed in Islam? Vows are mentioned in the Quran in approving terms. Allah says,

"Verily, the abraar (pious, who fear Allah and avoid evil), shall drink a cup (of wine) mixed with water from a spring in Paradise called Kaafoor, a spring wherefrom the slaves of Allah will drink, causing it to gush forth abundantly. They (are those who) fulfill their vows, and they fear a day in which evil will be widespreading." (Surah Al-Dahr, 76:5-7)

In this verse, Allah makes the fulfillment of vows as one of the reasons for salvation and admittance to Paradise. Moreover, in Surah Al-Hajj Allah says:

"Then let them complete the prescribed duties for them, and perform their vows..." (Surah Al-Hajj 22:29)

Imam al-Shawkaani explains that this verse means that one has to fulfill thier vow, and it is obligatory according to Shari'ah.

However, there are Hadith which suggest that Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) discouraged vows, and described them as makrooh because they prescribe a condition to do acts of worship. For example, if you attain something you will offer an extra prayer, and if you do not attain it - you will not offer it. So it becomes an exchange, or a barter between you and Allah which is discouraged.

Since I'm not a Religious Scholar of any sort, I will not go into detail into the permissability of vows, so I'll move forward with the next bit of the question.

So, you're attracted to someone, and perhaps you're in love with them. You've made Du'a night and day to be together with them, you've made a Mannat that perhaps you'll offer voluntary prayers if Allah grants you them in marriage, etc. However, things aren't working out. No matter how much Du'a you make, or how many different ways you try asking for them to be yours - it just doesn't work! *puppy dog face* What do you do? Do you give up? Do you keep fighting for it? How do you overcome heartbreak?

*smiles* I have always believed that if you want something badly enough, you have to fight for it. Struggles only make you that much more worthy of what you want in the end, and (as discussed in one of my earlier blogs) sometimes being given something by Allah is conditional upon Du'a. For example, the love of your life, or a new job, or children may be written in your Qadr but they may have conditions attached to them. Attaining the love of your life may be conditional upon Du'a. Perhaps Allah has written that if you make dua on a certain night, a certain number of times, a certain number of ways, only then will you be granted love. Attaining the dream job may be conditional upon struggle, and perhaps Allah has written that only until you struggle for in a certain way, for a certain amount of time will you then attain that dream job. This means that until and unless you meet those conditions, you will not get what you want. To explain this in even simpler terms, if you die praying for a child and never have a child - it'd be foolish for you to be upset with Qadr. Perhaps children were written for you, but... *giggles* of course it's condition was marriage, and *rolls eyes* engaging in the act of sexual intercourse! See! In some cases, conditions are important!

Okay, so you've done everything you could. Surely, Allah would not expect the impossible from you right? The condition would never be something like standing on one leg, on the coldest night of winter, for 4 hours, while holding your breath and trying not to blink. This is when you must accept that you can not fight Qadr. Qadr is simply what Allah has written, and what He knows to be best for you, despite your dedication and persistence.

I used to think that one must remain loyal to what he/she prays for. It is true, you must - up to a certain point in your life. Imagine your beloved married, and has a child - should you still remain loyal and keep praying? No! It's about time you face the facts, and pray for peace of mind and heart. (May Allah grant it to you, if you are in such a situation)

We often forget that Allah knows what is best. While it is true that Allah has the power to turn good, that which is bad for you - but in the end - the decision of Allah must be accepted. Perhaps what you pray for, is a curse for you - and by withholding its fulfillment Allah is in fact protecting you from hardship. Perhaps withholding something from you is a blessing for you.

Letting go of a Mannat or a Du'a is as simple as leaving it to Allah. Acknowledge that only Allah is in the position to ever fulfill your needs, and anything else that you pray for. Accept that Allah does not withhold anything from you unless it is better for you, and you must know that if a time ever comes that it is good for you, Allah will bestow it upon you. After you acknoweldge all this - you leave it to Him.

As much as I hate to admit this, even I have prayed for things and have gone above and beyond for my desires in making Du'a. They said pray Tahajjud, I did. They said pray when it rains, I did! They said pray all throughout Ramadan, and especially before iftar, I did! In the end - I left those things to Allah - and Alhamdulillah I found peace in my heart knowing that if those things are ever meant for me, they will come my way. I constantly had to remind myself, that if something doesn't come my way, perhaps I am better without it.

*adjusts nerdy glasses* Sometimes we become persistent in what we ask for. To be persistent is a good thing - however, it can also be a bad thing when the signs are obvious. It becomes more of an argument between you and Allah. *may Allah forgive us* Essentially, when the signs are obvious (when you have done everything in your power, and yet you fail to realize that perhaps this is what is written) you refuse to accept Qadr - what you're saying is "NO ALLAH! THIS IS WHAT I WANT. GIVE IT TO ME OR I'LL KEEP ASKING FOR IT. WHY ARE YOU BEING UNFAIR TO ME?" *may Allah guide us*

Being motivated to pray for something is a stage that we all go through. We pray night and day, with the utmost belief that we'll get it. Then comes a point where we begin to give up, and doubt ourselves. We begin to get ideas that perhaps we aren't sincere enough, or perhaps we aren't doing enough - and we try even harder. Eventually, we begin to doubt Allah and we give up completely. *may Allah bring us back to Him beautifully* Anyone can stand infant of Allah on a prayer mat when he/she is motivated towards attaining something. Perhaps Allah wants to see, how many of us will still stand before Him with the acknowledgement of complete dependance when not given what we ask for.

When a prayer is not immediately answered, we forget one of Allah's most important reminder:

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? (Surah Ar-Rahman, 55:37-78)

We need to learn when to accept Allah's decision, and with acceptance comes letting go. Now, if I were to ask you, "when is the right time to let go?" I hope you'll agree that the right time to let go is when you feel like you're beginning to fight Qadr, and when you've done everything you possibly could and its time to leave it to Allah.

Sometimes to attain something, perhaps it is conditional upon letting go. Maybe that is the ultimate test?

Allah knows best.

49 thoughts on “In order to attain something, perhaps you need to let it go?”

  1. Asalamalaikum Brother…
    Beautifully written…The believe in the qadr of ALLAH is the most important…ALLAH is Our Creator…HE has made us and HE knows what is best for us and what time should we get the things we have been relentlessly asking for…”Remember HE never burdens a soul beyond that it can bare”..Have trust and Faith in the ALMIGHTY…seek his forgiveness verily HE IS THE MOST MERCIFUL…MAY ALLAH bless u always…I have related to what you have written…Jazak ALLAH khair..

    1. Walaikum Assalam Samrin, Alhamdulillah I’m glad that you were able to relate to what I’ve written! You’re absolutely right, the belief in the Qadr of Allah is essential! He knows what is best! Ameen to your Du’a, and may Allah bless you with even more Insha’Allah!

  2. Assalamualaikummm
    I’m absolutely in the situations you’ve mentioned above and tbh the last time with which you ended it up beautifully is might be”letting go is the ultimate test” Allah has ultimate power over anything and we being HIs creatures can only try and ask for him.My trails are running since 8long years Alhamdulillah materialistic I get everything cause ik that’s we know how to work for it but Qadr is something from Allah
    May Allah give us the strength to accept our Qadr happily ☺️

    1. Walaikum Assalam, Farheen! I totally understand the feeling of wanting something for so long. Sometimes you pray for something and you just don’t want to give up on it. I fear at times that it becomes a zid, and as good as zid can be… It can also be a bad thing because it also means refusing to accept the decision and wisdom of Allah. I pray that you get what your heart desires, and may it be good for you Insha’Allah. May Allah continue to guide us and give us Sabr.

  3. Wow just what I needed! I have been going through some tough times of my own and keep beating myself over it. I think it is time to leave my destiny up to Allah, and if it were to be mine then Alhumdullilah if not Alhumdullilah cannot really fight with qadr and Allah now can we? I guess the hardships and battles are there for a reason that we as humans have no clue as to why but only Allah knows best. There is a verse in the Quran that goes something like this: “perhaps you love a thing which is bad for you and hate a thing that is good for while Allah knows best.” Thank you for this post, I randomly came upon your page and I guess Allah accepted guided me here. Jazak Allah Khair May Allah bless you tons

    1. AssalamuAlaikum Zara, JazakAllah Khairr for reading through and leaving your precious feedback. May Allah make it easy for you and give you the Sabr to accept Qadr, and may whatever happens eventually show you in the most beautiful of ways as to why it had to happen that way. Indeed Allah knows best, and we can only hope for the best as He is all capable.

  4. Absolutely! Whatever is meant for you will reach you even it’s beneath the mountain and what isn’t meant for you won’t reach you even it is in between your two lips. It’s all Qadr
    We should say, “QadrAllahu Mashaafaal” and move on coz whatever happens good or bad in the sight of us is always good bestowed upon us by our creator. He knows what’s best for us and we know not!

    Kabhi kabhi uss rabb ko raazi karne ki khaatir hume apni khwaishein qurbaan karni padti hai. Iss umeed se ki kya pata Allâh hume usse behtar cheez se nawaaz de jiska hum intekhaab nahi kar sakte the. Woh toh Al-Qadir uske liye koi na mumkin nahi bss woh Kun keh de kuch la haasil bhi nahi…

    Kya pata woh cheez zindagi mein kab kahan mil jaaye ya mukarar waqt pe laut aaye ek nawaazish aur rehmat ban kar rabb ki taraf se..humare sabr ka tohfa ya mukkamal hui du’a ban kar…

    Chod do..jaane do uss cheez ko agar woh laut aaye toh samjho woh aapki hi hai Jo aapse koi cheen nahi sakta agar Allâh na chahe.

    1. Bilkul sahi farmaya ap ne! I couldn’t have said it better myself! Nothing is impossible for Him and if it was truly good for us, He may have granted us with what our heart desires… But perhaps His Qadr has decided something even better for us! May Allah give us all Sabr. May we all learn to accept and appreciate Qadr.

      1. Bilkul janaab! Haha aapne toh seekh liya qadr ko apnana  ماشاء الله
        Aap khud gaur kare jiss wajah se aapne ye safar shuru kiya uss waqt aap kya aur kaun the apne rabb se kitne dur lekin ek dard aur uss wajah se aaj aap apne rabb ke qareeb hai..usse na umeed nahi

        A blessing in disguise!!

        Mujhe zaati taur par ye lagta hai ki Hume Allâh se dard maangna chahiye..kyunki dard hi Hume uske qareeb karta hai. Insaan uss dard mein Allâh ke siwa kisiko nahi dekhta! Kitna khubsurat hai woh dard Jo Hume Allâh ke nazdeek karde. Jo kabhi nahi roye woh zaar zaar uss rab ke saamne roye usse har dard ki kahani apni zubaani bayan Kare..kya woh sukoon, woh mohbt kahin mil sakti hai?

        Phir bhi ye sochne par majboor ho jaati hoon ki insaan kitna khudgarz hai woh kisi shaks kind mohbt mein ya dil ke dard ko dur karne ke liye Allâh ko yaad karta hai uske dar par aata..
        Kyun usse apne rab ki mohbt kheenchti nahi? Kyun uska khauf usse hota nahi? Kya Allâh se kisi aur ko hi maanga jaata hai..kabhi usse usko maang kar toh dekho..
        Uski mohbt mein ro kar toh dekho..

        Uff! Kuch zyaada bol gayi mein haha..
        Aameen to your du’as.

        1. I think Allah se dard mangna munasib na ho. Jazbaaton se kiye huway faisle hamesha nuksan dete hain. Allah’s treasures and will to give is endless… If your end goal is for you to be closer to Allah, and inevitably for Allah to be closer to you… Why not just ask Allah for that in itself? Allah ka Ishq chaiyye hai, tau woh Ishq mangien…dard mangne ki kia zuroorat? Us ki zaat se hamesha achi umeed rak kar, acha hi mangien.

          1. Beahak! Lekin ishq e majazi ho ya ishq e haqiqi..ishq toh ishq hai haha bina dard ke ishq nahi milta. Aansun toh bahane padhte hi hai..dard toh sehna padhta hi hai.

            Bss ek ishq aazmaish ban jaata hai dusra nawaazish.
            Mohbt ke raaste itne aasaan bhi toh nahi hote. Aur Issi badi aazmaish shayad hi koi hai.

  5. I just read this and I must say I have found my answers. Allah is honestly the most merciful and his blessings upon us is immense. Perhaps he doesn’t want to give us something because maybe in end that is what will destroy us and since Allah loves us so much (even more than our own mother’s) that he wants to bless us with something even better. But as humans it’s hard to accept the bitter truth and move but in the end submiting our selves to Allah is the only way to go. Lately, I have been making dua for something but now as you said I think I am fighting with qadr and now it’s the time to let it go. If Allah wills it would be mine for I’m tired and drained. Jazak Allah Khair for this reminder and may Allah bless you tons! Happy early Eid Mubarak brother!

    1. Alhamdulillah, I’m glad that I was able to offer some clarity. Allah’s wisdom is indeed immense and often times we don’t understand the wisdom behind Qadr until it’s too late… But may Allah guide us and give us sabr to accept Qadr. Jazak’Allah, and may Allah bless you with even more! Khair Mubarak!

  6. Subhan’Allah beautifully expressed brother👏🏻I’m actually a lazy lass who wouldn’t read long texts but this Alhamdulillah I couldn’t stop reading them. I could actually relate this to me. You’ve explained it beautifully with the evidences from the Quran and Hadeeth. I appreciate that much. Waiting to read more blogs like this.

    1. Thank you so much Famiza, for taking the time and reading through. I know it was long, but I’m glad that you found it interesting enough to continue till the very end. Insha’Allah, I’ll keep up with such posts and I look forward to your feedback in the future.

  7. Beautifully written as always! This is something that is so close to my heart and accepting qadr was a struggle! At the end of the day I realised I had to leave it to Allah and have tawakkul. As soon as I did that, everything worked out itself. What I was praying for wasn’t good for me…so my duas not being answered was a blessing in disguise!
    I can so relate to what you said about praying at the given times! I did the same. Prayed at tahajjud, when it rained, in between the azaan and iqamah and so on! It got to a point where I would drop everything to make my dua. My dua had become an obsession! But one day I just decided to let it go. Couldn’t do it anymore and then Allah showed me why He wasn’t answering it. Alhamdulillah having tawakkul worked out for me! Great read 😊

    1. Alhamdulillah, Madihah. It was a great pleasure to read your feedback. I’m so glad that you can relate to this in the same way that I have, and I can honestly say that it is such a beautiful feeling leaving it to Allah and having Tawakkul. Subhan’Allah, all the sleepless nights and the worries and fear just goes away knowing and accepting that Allah will not waste you, and Allah is watching over you. Indeed sometimes the fulfillment of our prayers could be a curse and only Allah knows what is good for us and what is bad for us! May Allah bless you immensely for your sabr and may we all get the opportunity to have such sabr. May Allah make us understand why a Du’a wasn’t being fulfilled so we can appreciate the wisdom behind it. Ameen!

  8. Assalamo alaikum
    You have greatly elaborated the quote by Imam Gazali ” What is destined will reach you, even if it be beneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips.”
    But I have just one question
    What If I pray only once and I dont get that.
    I always settle by saying It was my destiny when things didnt work my way.
    For eg: My parents blame me till today if I had worked a bit harder in the test I could have become a doctor.
    On the contrary I think its written so I dont need to bother myself.

    1. Walaikum Assalam! Thank you for reading and asking your question. I answered this in an earlier blog post called, “had I gone with the flow, I would have drowned.” I would recommend you read that! I also hinted a little from it in this post as well. I’ll give you the same example again. If I say that it is in my destiny to not have children because if it were, I’d be holding a baby in my arms right now… It would be foolish. Allah has given us free will and the power and opportunity to make it happen. I’d have to get married and engage in a physical relationship with my spouse in order for those children to happen. I can’t say, if children are written for me… I don’t need to bother myself.. Because in order for those children to happen, I need to fulfill the conditions. Second example… If I’m in the middle of the ocean and I jump out of my boat and don’t bother myself and think that if it’s written for me to survive, I don’t have to make an effort… That would be silly! The condition to save myself from drowning is making the effort of swimming. Similarly, if success is written in our destiny, we need to try. We need to chase it, and Allah will make it easy. I pray that Allah guides us all and blessed you with immense success and happiness in whatever endeavor you decide to go for. Ameen.

  9. Maa sha Allah! I love this!!! You are absolutely right!
    Allah sees everything, He knows how much we are trying. “Not a leaf falls but that He knows it.” – Quran 6:59
    We go through certain tests in life because Allah loves hearing from us. Allah tests those whom He loves. Prophet (pbuh) said,
    “On the Day of Judgement, when the people who were tested in this world are given their rewards, the people who were pardoned in life, will wish that their skins had been cut off with scissors while they were in the world.” SubhanAllah. Thank you for these kind of posts, believe it or not, these kind of posts help us a lot. It has helped me a lot…jazakAllah.

    1. Thank you, Sidra for taking the time and reading through! Especially for leaving your wonderful feedback! Indeed on the day of judgment we will thank Allah for all the trials and tribulations that we have endured with Sabr, Subhan’Allah! With each hardship there are rewards, and all Allah expects is for us to have Sabr.

      1. THANK YOU for an amazing post. Honestly I can relate to it so much and your post sends a beautiful message and how to deal with situations like this. Your words are very encouraging and very powerful. You have no idea how much your words have helped me (us) and gave me (us) strength. May Allah reward you for that!

  10. Asalamalaikum
    Indeed Allah knows best. Humin hamesha yehi dua krni chaheye k wo humin behtreen ata farmaye ,humin har lehaz se khush naseeb bana de, aur humin aisi chezn mangne ki taufeeq na de jo humare liye behter nahi aisi chezn jo abhi toh achi lagti ho lakin zindagi main agay ja ker humare liye behter sabit na hon. aur hum hamesha Allah ka shukar kerne ki tafeeq ata farmaye.

    1. Walaikum Assalam Aliya,
      You’re absolutely right! We should always expect the best from Allah and indeed He is most capable to bless us with the best possible. Allah has given us so much without asking, if we could only learn to accept the knowledge and wisdom withheld from us in His decisions.

  11. This article was so informative for me,thank you 😊
    Beshak Allha knows what is the best and when it’s best for us to have something.

    1. Thank you for reading, Fakhria. I’m glad you found it informative, my intent was for people to learn something and I’m glad I achieved that.

  12. Assalamu Alaikum.
    Alhamdulillah, I am blessed to have woken up and read this amazing piece of work from you. I was hoping to hear something like this. And I did, and I’m ever so grateful that I did.

    Once, there was a point in my life, where I started to doubt the existence of our Creator, I started to doubt whether He was up there listening to my prayers. I prayed day and night, hoping that I get what I wanted. And I never did. I didn’t ever, ever doubt myself, as I thought that there was nothing wrong with me or how I prayed to Him. I just continuously thought that He just turned a blind eye to me and my prayers. Or even, that He never existed.
    But, now, Alhamdulillah, I’ve changed and I know that He, my Rabb, does exist. In
    this holy month of Ramadan, I changed my mentality and prayed day and night, asking Him to forgive me. Asking Him to never ever let me think of doubting Him again. Because, soon He will listen to me. And when He doesn’t/didn’t, it’s only because He wishes/wished just the best for me. And nothing else. We just need to let go of whatever we ask for, only when He doesn’t provide us with it. – We all need to accept Qadr.

    (P.S: I’m not ever ashamed to share this, because maybe from this experience of mine, others are able to learn from it.)

    Thank you for writing this. May Allah guide us all on the right path and may He guide us all to Him very quickly. Aameen. Moreover, may He bless you immensely. Aameen.

    1. Walaikum Assalam, I was delighted to read your feedback and I’m glad that you have appreciated it. You described a point in your life that we all experience, at some point in our lives. I guess even such a feeling is important, because if you never experience being distant and disbelieving in Allah, perhaps you would never learn to appreciate the immense beauty and peace of mind that comes with Sabr, and the belief in the Qadr of Allah. May Allah always keep us rightly guided and never give us the opportunity to ever doubt Him, but if we ever do reach such a breaking point in our life… May be pull our strings back to Him with utmost mercy and and glory. Ameen. I’m very happy to hear that you changed your perspective this Ramadan, and I can only pray that everyone gets to learn these lessons. Jazak’Allah Khair for not being shy or scared to share such a beautiful experience of finding your way back to your Rab. Ameen to your duas and may Allah bless you with even more than what you have wished upon me!

  13. That was an awesome read early in the morning… A spiritual breath of fresh air and letting out a sigh. Everything said held a level of weight that goes beyond imagination…

  14. As salamualaikum
    Yesss this is completely relatable n i m facing the same situation i don’t know its a zidd or what bt it’s like my dua is incomplete without that…. every time its in my mind i don’t know when i will be able to let it go i feel may be there is a need of patience and i trust Allah that one day he is going to accept my prayers bcoz u never know “kya pata Allah ko kis waqt bnde ki koi baat pasand aa jae or wo humari dua qubool kr le ” bt sometimes it’s very difficult to have patience it irritates a lot n still my heart says don’t miss a chance to ask from Allah every time that particular thing is in my mind when its raining when it’s the time of iftaari after every namaz while travelling i feel it might take a day it might take a month or might take a year bt what’s meant to be will always find its ways so i m waiting for the right time bcoz i trust Allah n miracles are part of life n dua tou taqdeer badal deti h .. i guess everything happens for a reason tou humara dua mangna b kya pata connected hi ho bt its very important to let it go n from reading this i m feeling that i should let it go if it’s meant to be or good for me than it will come to me anyhow bt its going to be very difficult….i wish Allah accepts everyone’s prayers ……n yeah reading this was amazing

    1. I know what you’re saying… And perhaps in one way or another we’ve all been there. I can only pray you get what you want and when you get it, I hope it is worth it. May Allah give you sabr, and a sign for you to know when to accept Qadr and let go.

  15. As salamualaikum
    Yesss this is completely relatable n i m facing the same situation i don’t know its a zidd or what bt it’s like my dua is incomplete without that…. every time its in my mind i don’t know when i will be able to let it go i feel may be there is a need of patience and i trust Allah that one day he is going to accept my prayers bcoz u never know “kya pata Allah ko kis waqt bnde ki koi baat pasand aa jae or wo humari dua qubool kr le ” bt sometimes it’s very difficult to have patience it irritates a lot n still my heart says don’t miss a chance to ask from Allah every time that particular thing is in my mind when its raining when it’s the time of iftaari after every namaz while travelling i feel it might take a day it might take a month or might take a year bt what’s meant to be will always find its ways so i m waiting for the right time bcoz i trust Allah n miracles are part of life n dua tou taqdeer badal deti h .. i guess everything happens for a reason tou humara dua mangna b kya pata connected hi ho bt its very important to let it go n from reading this i m feeling that i should let it go if it’s meant to be or good for me than it will come to me anyhow bt its going to be very difficult….i wish Allah accepts everyone’s prayers ……n yeah reading this was amazing
    Why i m not able to post my comment 😭😭😭😭

  16. Your writing is amazing. I don’t study this stuff that much but It’s very hard to believe in letting go. I don’t believe letting go even works because the person you love always comes back to you in ways you won’t even expect. They don’t leave your thoughts, memories, and your heart. You miss their presence in so many things you wanted to do and when you do those things by yourself or with others they don’t seem interesting or fun. They seem meaning less.
    It’s also hard to move on to let go because most people’s love is taken away by other people such as to protect their family ties and to keep their khandan ties from breaking as wished by elders. Lives would be saved and people would be less miserable only If elders could understand that love is real and not shame and its cure is commitment and marriage to the beloved and not to someone else.
    People do move on and let go because they have to and if they don’t they will become more miserable and they have no choice because some people will never let them become united. They decide to live by compromising or else their lives are ruined more than it already has been as the loss of loved one, the family reputation gets ruined, the fear of them being alone all their life, the fear of not being able to extend family, and pressure from society. These conditions make people let go. I believe if you love someone truly and it is without conditions then there is no letting go or moving on. A person who loves someone without condition can not move on with someone else. I don’t know I’m not sure but that’s what I think

    1. You’re right, while I agree that when the love is reciprocated, it is unfair for elders to become obstacles unless it is a valid objection. May Allah make it easy for those mutually in love and may their struggles be rewarded in both worlds. However, this post was directed towards one sided love in which we hold on almost pointlessly to someone who breaks our heart, and endlessly pray that one day Allah opens their heart to us. In that case, it is almost as if we give ourselves expectations and lead ourselves towards pain and emotional consequences. May Allah give us all Sabr.

  17. Assalaamualaikum.. Firstly Eid mubarak!!
    Another compliment you will never believe. Everyone can write, it is just about finding the way you write best. You just found a way to combine letters and words to make it sound like you know what you’re talking about. Trust me, it is not something everyone can do..
    Your attention to detail puts you at the top.
    Your attitude and work level suits us here, so keep up the good work!Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with us!!
    I hope to get response for my DM’s 😉
    Stay happy and stay blessed!!

    1. Walaikum Assalam! Khair Mubarak! I hope this Eid brings you lots of happiness and may your ibadat during the month of Ramadan lead you to immense rewards Insha’Allah. Thank you for your kind words, I’m really glad that you enjoyed reading! Thank you for leaving your feedback, it was an absolute pleasure to read.

  18. Assalaamualaikum. Firstly Eid mubarak!!
    Another compliment you will never believe. Everyone can write, it is just about finding the way you write best. You just found a way to combine letters and words to make it sound like you know what you’re talking about. Trust me, it is not something everyone can do..
    Your attention to detail puts you at the top.Your attitude and work level suits us here, so keep up the good work!Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with us.
    I hope to get response for my DM’s 😉
    Stay happy and stay blessed!!

  19. Asalaam alaykum arslan !!
    I truly enjoyed reading this blog as it is sooo relatable to what us humans desire in life. We must always remember to leave everything up to allah no matter how much we love that thing. Allah will always make the best decision for us. I’ve learnt to let go of a lot desires because of this. If it’s written it will happen right ? Allah inspired us to make the dua which means he would want to fulfil it right ? And if he doesn’t then something better Is in store for sure.

    1. AssalamuAlaikum Sheharbano, first of all you have such a unique name Masha Allah! Second, thank you for reading and taking the time to leave your feedback! Indeed Allah is all knowing and makes the best decisions, and Alhamdulillah I’m glad that I learned to let go and leave things to Him. I hope in learning the same, you’ve also experienced the same peace of mind and absolute sukoon that I have experienced. May Allah continue to guide us and shower us with blessings for every time we observed Sabr during our trials.

  20. I can’t express how grateful I am to Allah swt that I came across this blog. Its so so beautifully written mashallah. It has truly lifted my faith in dua and qadr. KEEP WRITING PLEASE. Jazakallahu khairan

  21. I’ve beem going theough a similar situation but I’m still confused, I still don’t know if it’s the time to let go. I mean the guy that I’ve been praying for is has a girlfriend now and he seems pretty serious about her. I sometimes think that I shoulf keep praying because we’re still young and he’s not married. In fact, he’s in a haram relationship that isn’t permissible in the first place. But then, when I see both of them together, my heart just aches and I feel like maybe I should give up, maybe it’s them that are meant to be together. Nowadays, I feel like my Du’a aren’t as strong as they used to be, because the thoughts of my Du’as not being accepted because he isn’t praying for me and I’m the only one praying keep haunting me. I don’t if it’s my faith in my Du’as is weakening or what. I really don’t know what to do.

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